The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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