So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
