At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
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