porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
