I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
