if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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