I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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