if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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