Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
