I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
