I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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