how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
