Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
