? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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