If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
