If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
