Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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