I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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