it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
