it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
