It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
