STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
