Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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