Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize