Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
