i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
