I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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