sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
