South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
