I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
