Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
