I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
