I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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