you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
