So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
