I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
