I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
