Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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