just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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