I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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