You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
