this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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