I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
