Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
