I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
