i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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