i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
