We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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