But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
