Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
