Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
