I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You are a genius and a whore.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
