Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
