:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
