Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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