My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
