Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
