Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
