I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
