the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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