i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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