Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
