rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
