one two three fourrrrnication!
its not stalking. its research.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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