I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
