Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize