But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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