guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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