you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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